This post is there in many mind for the last two years, today i got the words to express. I noticed that there are different kind of conflict between me and Siddharth, they are more like grown ups. He has started pointing out my behavior, use of my words and more important my expression towards him.
I always had this feeling that he will be more independent after the age of nine, but never thought he will be independent in thoughts also.
How to accept rejection from a nine year old, where he does not want to do his homework, taking bath on regular time and so on.... I have always wished a relationship with my kids, based on love and trust. Sometimes i just hit the wall and my thoughts get blocked.
The session in Siddharth School on adolescence and growing up gave me beautiful insights. Why we are worrying so much about our kids, why we always feel that we need to give the answer to all their question in details, why cannot sometime we also just go with the flow. Kids at the age of nine and ten, when they are exploring their own independence are not always looking for all the answers from us, they are just looking for assurance that they are doing right. Why we always want to be their friends and forget our role as parents. We only wanted them to be independent and explore own their own, now when they are going to do the same. We are not able to handle rejection from them.
It is fine if a nine year old want to spend all the day in reading or in playing. You need to go with the flow. Yes we should worry when they hide something, when they dont share anything at all. What does independence means live the way you want to be. But yes never forget to remind them that you are always there for them if they need us. We are always there for them when they look back for assurance that they are doing right. So that when they turn adults, they tell u dont be behind me, come and walk with me.. i need you here my mom!!
Papa i am soon going to be taller than you!! |